Funeral Homily For Anna G. Fowler - The Rev. Colette Hammesfahr

 

Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled…I go to prepare a place for you.” Today, as we gather to honor Anna, we hold onto those words, especially considering the fact that she lived her final days with quiet courage and a deep, private strength, that many of us may not have fully seen.

Anna was a private person with a strong outer shell that was hard to tap into. That may have been a be a result of her childhood experiences. Born in Romania, she and her family lived through upheaval, uncertainty, and oppression. They fled Romania, to Germany, and later immigrated into the United States through Ellis Island. As a young child, one of Anna’s sisters died as a toddler. That very same week, her father died. Any single one of those experiences could force someone to toughen up — enduring all of them would require incredible resilience.

The thing about Anna’s strong outer shell was that if you tapped hard enough or kept tapping long enough, you could break through. When you did, underneath that shell you’d find a loving, warm, funny, opinionated, and stern woman.

Anna met Don, her husband of 59 years when she was a “hostess” for TWA. Once married, Anna developed an entrepreneurial spirit—or maybe she just had a very strategic approach to getting around Don’s very, very conservative spending.

She loved beautiful furniture and always wanted something new for the house. But, Don wasn’t one to spend on anything they didn’t truly need. So his answer to new furniture was usually, “no.” What did Anna do? She started selling furniture—not in a showroom, but straight out of a catalog. She was great with people and had a real eye for style, but let’s be honest -- the best customer was always Anna herself, saving Don money by getting a discount on the furniture she bought. Her business may not have built her family an empire, but it did build them a beautiful living room.

Anna loved her family dearly. Together, she and Don raised two boys, Michael and Scott. They told me that their mom was tough on them growing up. They did confess that a lot of broken wooden spoons came along with her discipline. Scott shared that because she was such a so strict, Joe, a family friend, use to say to her, “Anna, there is a Marine Battalion somewhere, missing their Gunnery Sargeant.”

She adored her granddaughter Delia.  “Oma” as Anna was called, loved to take Delia to tea and later they would go shopping. Oma would buy Delia whatever she wanted, but always managed to buy a little something for herself on the trip.

Don and Anna’s final home was at Thrive, a senior living community on Skidaway Island. They moved to The Landings from North Carolina in 1993. Their last Christmas in North Carolina, Anna cried her eyes out because she didn’t want to leave. After she moved here, she told her boys, “I’m never coming back.” She and Don loved it here. It was a golden time in their lives.

Don and Anna’s church home was here at St. Thomas’. They quickly became part of the St. Thomas family where they gave so much of their time and talent. Anna loved volunteering at the thrift store. She served on both the altar guild and the flower guild.

At both Thrive and St. Thomas’ Don and Anna made so many new friends.

I know many of her friends at Thrive and whenever you’ve shared stories with me that involve Anna, there is always a good laugh involved.

I’d like you all to take a moment now and think back to high school.  Envision the cool kid – you know the one…the cool kid was the kid who owned a car. The cool was the kid who on a Friday night would pick up all her friends, pack them into the car like sardines because no one cared about seat belts, and cruise the streets. Do you remember that person?

At Thrive, Anna was that cool kid with the car. Not everyone who lives at Thrive can drive and some simply don’t have a car. Anna had a car, and could drive. Anna was the cool kid. She would often pack her friends in the car (limited by the number of seat belts available) and cruise the local circuit – Dollar Tree, Walgreens, and finally Largo Beverage, because that’s the place that sold their favorite wine. 

While I joke about Anna being the cool kid with the car, her generosity was one of the things that defined her. Michael and Scott said this about both Don and Anna, “They were the first to give generously as in ‘let’s make soup’ and the last to accept help as in ‘don’t tell them I am sick’.”

“Don’t tell them I am sick.”  Anna died on her own terms, a very private death. Only a couple of people knew that after her mastectomy, cancer still lingered in her lymph nodes. The news of her pending death was a surprise even to Reverend Melanie and me. I visited with Anna the day before she died. Before I went into her room, Michael said, “Can you find out what mom wants for her funeral.” I told her what Michael had asked, and she grumbled to me, “He’s not in charge.” My heart sank for Michael, that he had no say in her funeral arrangements. So, I asked if I could give her requests to Scott. Anna grumbled, “He’s not in charge either.” I could not help but let out a laugh. Anna was in charge until the end.

Jesus said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling-places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.”

“Let not your hearts be troubled,” he said. Jesus urges his disciples not to be troubled, but to trust. These are true words and comforting words for us today….. so that we may quiet our sorrow with promise.

For Anna and for us, the road does not end here. Beyond this moment, we can rejoice because there is a place already prepared for us. Anna does not walk alone into mystery, but is welcomed home, where every tear is dried, and life is not ended, but made new.  Amen