The Third Sunday After Pentecost - The Rev. Colette Hammesfahr

 Mark 3:20-35 

I love the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond. Raymond (Ray) and Debra Barone have three children. Ray’s overbearing mother, Marie, and his grumpy father, Frank, live across the street and are constantly popping in unexpectedly. His brother, Robert, is a police officer who, for his entire life, feels like he has lived in Ray’s shadow. This family is the epitome of dysfunction.  

There is an episode where Debra’s sister, Jennifer, is coming to visit. Jennifer is unique. She’s the cool aunt but is known to be a little “out there.” Their kids love her because she rides a motorcycle. Ray and Debra joke that her visit may be a “pit stop to an acupunctural, aromatherapy Hindu festival of hugging.” When Jennifer arrives, she gives Ray’s kids presents -- rosary beads and prayer cards. She announces to the family that she will take her final vows to be a nun soon. Then, she’s off to Africa. She’s leaving everyone behind, her family and friends, because she says, “Now I’m married to God.” For the rest of the show, there is a rift and quite a bit of tension between everyone in the family because of Jeniffer’s new career choice.  

For Jesus’ family, he was acting a little differently. Remember that Jesus healed the man with the withered hand on the sabbath last week. Now, huge crowds are following him because they’ve heard the news of what he has been doing. Jesus appointed the twelve who would be “sent out to preach and had the authority to cast out demons” (Mark 3:14-15). The most unlikely of people to be following the Messiah, the Son of God. Among the group were fishermen, farmers, a tax collector, and a zealot. Some of them were fully committed to Jesus, some would doubt, and there was the one who would betray. A group of people who dropped everything to follow a man they didn’t know much about – much like Debra’s sister, Jennifer, who dropped everything and left her family behind to be a part of God’s family.   

From the outside, looking in, this does seem a bit ridiculous, doesn’t it? Jesus was starting to do some weird things, according to some, and being followed by a strange group. His family came to restrain him because people said he was out of his mind. His family was not ready to accept him as he was. When his mother and brothers came looking for him, he looked around and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” Those broken, sinful people were his mother and his brother – not his biological family. Those broken, sinful people, when they were with Jesus, they belonged and felt love.  

We are a world of broken and sinful people yearning to belong. We are a church of broken and sinful people yearning to belong. You and I, right here, right now, are each broken and sinful people, yearning to belong.  

Brene Brown is an author and a Doctor of Philosophy. In her work and research, she has determined that we have an innate desire to belong, be seen, heard, and understood for who we truly are. She says, “True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. No matter how separated we are by what we think and believe, we are part of the same spiritual story."1 

Jesus said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” By birth, adoption, or other means, all of us are given a family. Whether near perfect or dysfunctional, we have a group we call family.  

All of us sitting here today have a second family, those sitting next to you. This is your chosen family. We choose whether to attend church on Sundays or participate in church activities. We choose to pray for one another and to care for one another. We choose to accept and love the vulnerable, the broken, and the poor. We choose to accept and love those who are misunderstood, those who are persecuted because of their beliefs, and those who are chastised because of their sexual orientation. We choose to accept and love those standing on the street corners and living in the streets. When we choose to love, we also choose to be loved. We choose all of these things because that is the will of God. We choose all of these things because we are given grace and never-ending love as God's beloved family. All of us in these four walls choose because we are brother and sister.  

  We were talking the other day (you may be tired of hearing it, but it was at the Wednesday healing service – what an awesome hour that is! I invite you all to join us one week.). A woman said to us that she had a wonderful family. Her biological family was more than she could ever ask for. They had fun together, and she loved them dearly. But something was missing. She said, “There was a hole in my heart because I did not have a church family. I needed the emotional and spiritual support of the church.” She is blessed to say that you have filled the hole in her heart. She has found a family at St. Thomas because we accept, love, and care for others. This is the will of God. We are family. We are brother and sister.  

Jesus did not sit inside a synagogue every day, waiting for people to come to him. Jesus walked the streets. I cannot stress enough the importance of sharing what we have within our family with those outside our four walls.  

Kurt and I ate lunch at Zaxby’s a few weeks after starting at St. Thomas. A woman was walking around talking to tables. It looked as if she may have had a stroke at some point in her life. It was hard to understand what she said, and one arm hung by her side, unable to move. She looked to be homeless. She passed by our table, and Kurt and I didn’t say much to her. A lady was eating at the next table. She asked this woman if she was hungry. The standing woman said, “Yes,” and the lady at the table beside us took her to the counter and bought her lunch. What a gift from a total stranger – feeding the unknown woman. I wish you could l have seen the hungry woman’s joy.  

This act of kindness haunted me for the next few weeks. I was given the opportunity to help this woman, but I chose not to. Every week, on my way to work, I would drive through the parking lots of McDonald's, Zaxby’s, and Walmart in search of this woman, but to no avail. I never found her. This has weighed heavy on my heart. How can I stand up here and preach to you about doing God’s will and caring for God’s family, yet I let that hungry woman walk away from me?  

We pass by opportunities like this every single day. A chance to say, “Yes, I can help.” “Yes, I can give a little bit of my time.” “Yes, I am here to listen.” “Yes, I love you.” “Yes, you are my brother and sister.”  

On Monday evening, I was driving home from church. I stopped at the light before making a left onto Truman Parkway. Suddenly, there was a tap on my window. It was the woman I had been searching for for months. She asked me for money for food. I rolled down my window and gave her some money. She said, “Thank you, you are a blessing.” I replied, “No, you are a blessing.” I saw the woman walking on the sidewalk, both Tuesday and Wednesday, with a grocery bag of food. I prayed and thanked God for giving me another opportunity to care for one of God’s children. 

This week, I’d like you to think about your family. Is there someone in your family who does not seem to connect or is misunderstood? Or, is there someone you know who is estranged from their family? Is there a way for you to connect them to your church family or a way we can help you make that connection?  

Doing the will of God means we have to make choices. It does not mean that we have to give up our biological families. In the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, Jennifer tells Debra that even though she is “married” to God, she is still her sister.  Brene Brown says that we must cultivate empathy and understanding within our families to combat shame and foster a sense of belonging for all members.2 While we may not get this from our biological families, you can rest assured that this is God’s will for you. In this family, in God’s family, you are given grace, you are accepted, and you are loved.  Amen.